The Baby Blues

A good friend of mine told me a little while ago that's she's expecting, a baby! I started crying. I was a hot mess. I called my mother. I didn't know why I was crying, I was confused. I was happy for her, yet I knew my tears weren't necesarily tears of happiness. My mother asked if I was jealous. What? Me? Jealous? About having a baby? No way...well maybe a just a little. I don't know. I've always teased that I wasn't going to have kids, but ever since my niece Makayla was born on July 4th, I won't lie, I have thought about it. But we don't have any money, where would the baby sleep, would Ribeye try to eat it, I'd have to quit my job, yada yada yada. And now my friend is pregnant. And everyone knows once you have a baby everything changes and all you can talk about is your diaper geanie and breast feeding. What am I going to do? Will I lose my friend forever, that is unless I join the ever growing baby bump group? Would she still be able to hang out if she carrying around a kiddo? Would we have anything in common anymore? As I'm contemplating this, I'm glad I'm not pregnant, I don't think my hormones/emotions/husband could take it. I would be an even bigger emotional mess. I just have to remind myself, that God has a plan for each of us, and we don't ever really know what it is until it unfolds. I don't know what he has instore for me and my hubby, but only time will tell. Who knows, a baby may even be in the future.